I have written newspaper and magazine articles, and ghostwritten speeches, created ads for public television and copy for a televised auction, and, contributing to the world’s ills, I conceived and wrote three blow-in subscription cards — those annoying slips of paper that fall out of magazines when you start flipping through the pages. The blow-ins were for Mountain Bike magazine and earned me the distinction of being the copywriter who came up with the best-selling card at the time as well as the one that ended up being the worst-performing ever — to this day. I’ve written an operation manual for a bike-building business, three wedding services (all still married), and entries for Encyclopedia Britannica, back when people still used paper encyclopedias. I got drunk once on Little Kings and, for a class in Advanced Humanities Studies, in five hours wrote a paper entitled “Homeric Lachrymation” that got an A+. The smartest guy in the class, Robert Cooney, who had gotten just an A, read my paper afterward and told me it was bullshit, and I agreed with him in full. Later on, our professor murdered his wife. These are some of my favorite nonfiction stories.
And It Breaks My Heart · · Are You Ready for Some Cycling? · · Because It Feels Good When I Stop: An Agony in 5 Parts · · Between the Notes · · The Best Worst Day · · The Blood Sport · ·
City Riding Etiquette · · Eulogy for the Landlords · · Fast Friends · · Happily Into Hell · · House Rules · · I Have Never Thrown Away a Bicycle · · If You’re Breathing · · A Multitude If Not An Infinity · · The Perfect American Jersey · · Phoenix Rising · · THE PURSUIT (a compilation) · · Racing You · · The Resurrection · · Riding With (My) Heart · · Runners · · Salut, Femme · · THE SELECTION (a compilation) · ·
SITTING IN (a compilation) · · Some Myth · · Sound · · Speed · · Ten Stupid Things Mountain Bikers Do to Mess Up Their Lives · · Tomorrow Is Another Trail · · The Tour’s Master of Last Place · · Unbelievable · · The Unimaginable Unfathomable · · We Say We Love Our Bikes · · Weather, Or Not · · What Are You Doing Here? · · What Every Kid Wants · · Whoom · · Yard Camping
True BS 